reluctant defiance

it is the enigma of wanting to change the world without changing yourself.

it is the reason for all those mountaintops and valleys.

or ditches. or holes. or, more appropriately,

v o i d s .

not a location,

not just a state of mind, but a state of heart. an emptiness

what happened?

i think, helplessly compassionate,

you felt the need for change. you needed change to come.

but you could not change yourself.

or what is that, rather impersonally,

you saw the need for change? you wanted change to come?

but you would not change yourself?

you think you want to defy the status quo.

but you don't.

you're unsure. you're unwilling. why?

true defiance acknowledges that you are part of the problem.

the status quo.

and now you want out.

but to get out you must change.

to be out, you must be different.

not just a change of mind, but a change of heart.

how easy it is to change your mind and not your heart!

defiance is hard. but it is romantic. and full of heartbreak.

you must learn to let go the things you love.

like yourself.

this is me.

overcoming my reluctant defiance.