reconnecting

what an interesting, ironic and somewhat humorous transition! my last post of several months ago included a journal entry from my trip to Taize. and now, here i sit. in my own new, fledgling community. quietly. listening to the rain and the cars wooshing outside. the old, beat up window painted a pale and cracking yellow is half open. i can feel the gentle breeze come flowing in over the room, swirling around me. my bright white ipod headphones play me my brother's music, perfect for this weather.

it has been hard. it has been discouraging. it has been frustrating. it has been trying. it has been crying.

and it has been good.

p.s. seriously give my brother a listen. i think recovery is by far one of his best songs yet, the most developed and polished. wear headphones or you'll miss the more subtle parts that make music worth listening to. love you bro.

wednesday, march 18th 2009 @ 8:00pm

taizé church

taizé, france

taizé is such a beautiful and creative place!  God has placed within us such a great capacity to create and we are using it less and less.  we pay others to create for us. we produce instead of creating.  how much uglier the world is because of this!  how much less joy.  how much less beauty.  oh that i were able to set my heart free to create as it was made to do!  music, spaces, crafts - useful, simple, beautiful things. may our community in kansas city be such a place, full of simple beauty. may people be drawn  to a place of your peace, Lord.  show us what that looks like. show us what to create, and for what purpose.  put in our hearts a song, and in our minds images of what to do.  let it be beautiful.  let us not stifle our creativity, the image of who you are, the Creator.  let us display to a dying and ugly place your image through creativity.  gardens?  repaint rooms?  songs?

some truths i feel i've had my eyes opened to:

• God speaks in what is small and humble.
• Life is a gift and therefore it must be given.
• God is the Creator, not the Producer.

sunday, march 15th 2009 @ 1:30pm

plaza near louvre

paris, france

paris is quieter than any u.s. city i've been to. small engines probably. i like to ride subways. a scene made me smile as we rode into france. we slowly pulled away from the station and i noticed a couple sitting on a bench. the girl laid her head on her guy's shoulder, sat up, smiled, said something to him. the guy, plain faced, looked over as she was speaking and gently smiled. we picked up speed and we pulled away. riding backwards, the scene drifted into the distance, into the past, becoming a memory. i miss laura.

i bet if i knew french this place would feel different. what are french people like? are they nice? happier in general? this is a whole new world to me. what is the church like here? i know the american church and its problems - what is the church like here? what is the nominal perception of Christianity? is it right-wing crazies? or something else? what do house churches look like here? i wish i could meet with a committed Christian to find out.

this place is not at war. it does not have a ton of troops in the middle east. in fact, it doesn't win many wars. it has been occupied. that is a humbling thing. i wonder if that history affects how people are educated. they are not taught that they are the best and that no one else is stronger. i wonder if that makes them more gracious?

i would hate being a tourist here but i think i would really enjoy living here. i really want to learn another language and live abroad. just work for ends meat and live in another culture. maybe with an order/community?

Lord, thank you so much for life and this break from school. please watch over laura and i during this time apart. give us wisdom for next year in kansas city. keep us safe so we can spread (or make known) your kingdom in 64130. thank you for providing a place for us to live next year. you knew we needed shelter and we didn't even have to look for it. you simply provided. thank you!